Boudoir for Yourself: She Booked It for Him First

Let me keep it real with you. A lot of women book a boudoir photoshoot for somebody else... a birthday, an anniversary, a wedding gift. There's nothing wrong with that. But every now and then, a woman comes into my Dallas studio thinking the photos are for him, and finds out they were for her all along.

Ms. S wrote me this letter months after her session and asked me to share it. Here it is, in her words.

Hi Catherine,

I've been thinking for months on how to talk to you and thank you for everything, again. Then you send this email out and I have to think about it before I officially tell you my story. I do have a couple of photos that I'd love for you to be able to add to your blog. I also have a confession, when I did the session with you this past spring, I was in denial about my marriage. I was trying to add spark to a marriage that was dying. I have now separated and have the confidence in myself that I can do this, not only for myself, but for my children as well. I came to you quite honestly with a very low confidence and self-worth, I have a great poker face, so until recently when I have come out with my story, many close family and friends weren't aware. My initial intentions for this shoot were if he thinks I am pretty, he will begin to have interest in me and we can rekindle what we had, as if outer beauty defines a relationship. I have since learned that his issues have literally zero to do with me, my contribution was as an enabler and constant childcare which allowed for him freedom in his own activities and choices that occurred more often at night.

I guess what I'd like for you to add to your blog and my story is that we are all worth it, we are all beautiful, regardless of the battle scars we have inside or outside. We are all deserving of love, but it must come from ourselves first. I felt beyond empowered, beautiful, and confident when I left your studio that day. I went and had lunch with some girlfriends, was so excited, kept my makeup and hair on, waiting for my husband to come home that night, only he didn't until the wee hours of the morning, like many previous nights prior to that day.

The particular day of the shoot, I didn't yet have my confidence, but when I look through my book, I remember feeling that empowerment and confidence on my days where I question my decision, my self-worth, and my choice to walk away. I just want to thank you, like I am sure so many other women have. I, like other women, began this project/gift for her significant other, but really, myself and those that have been photographed are the ones that get the prize, nobody can take away that feeling we have, that bounce in our step, and that wow feeling when leaving your studio.

Ms. S, you said it better than I ever could. Nobody can take away that feeling.

Here's what I'll add. It's okay to want someone to notice you. It really is. But when you think about you and what you desire, you teach everybody else how to do the same for you.

If you're thinking about a boudoir photoshoot for yourself, with no occasion, no gift, and no partner... you don't need a reason. You don't need to explain it to anybody. [Here's what the day looks like](/experience). And if you're nervous, [I almost canceled my own](/blog/nervous-about-boudoir-photoshoot). Trust me when I tell you, you're in good company.■